BONUS: Social Media is FAKE - What You’re Not Seeing Behind “Success” Online

I’m back ... and this time, I’m keeping it real.

In this bonus episode of Coffees and Content, I’m sharing the truth behind why the podcast paused, what’s been happening behind the scenes at The Social Collective, and why I believe we need to talk more honestly about the realities of running a business in the digital space.

From burnout that showed up physically, to rapid business growth that looked amazing online but felt overwhelming in real life, this episode is a behind-the-scenes download I’ve never shared before.

Whether you’re feeling stuck, stretched too thin, or like you're the only one not keeping up - I hope this reminds you that you’re not alone, and that building a business your way is more than enough.

🧠 In this episode, I talk about:

• Why I stepped away from the podcast (and what brought me back)
• How business burnout showed up in my body - and what I learned
• The emotional weight of “looking successful” online
• What it really took to scale The Social Collective this past year
• Why having a multi-channel marketing strategy saved my business
• What’s coming next for Coffees and Content and how we’re evolving

🔗 Links + Resources:

• Follow the pod on Instagram: @coffeesandcontentpod
• Tune into Daily Shot for weekday tips + behind the scenes
• Learn more about working with us: www.thesocialcollective.co.nz

Stay Connected:

• Website: www.coffeesandcontentpod.com
• Instagram: @coffeesandcontentpod
• Facebook Community: @coffeesandcontentpod
• Substack: https://coffeesandcontent.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube: Coffees & Content
• Have a marketing question? Email hello@coffeesandcontentpod.com

Loved this episode? Leave a review - it would mean the world!!

If this episode gave you a breakthrough moment, share your key takeaway on Instagram and tag @coffeesandcontentpod. Your insights might just shape a future episode.

Transcript

 I'm back. Hey everybody, it's Loren, and welcome back to another episode of the Coffees and Content Podcast. Oh, it just feels so good to say that I feel like it's been far too long and. I feel like I owe you a little explanation, so today's episode's gonna be a bonus one. I'm not promising that the season is coming back just yet, and I'll tell you why in a second.

But today's episode is a bonus one that nobody has any awareness that I'm dropping. I just feel like it's time to talk. This episode, I'm currently recording from my living room floor. Uh, the podcast studio has moved. We have moved offices. The social collective has moved offices, and we are in the midst of creating a brand new podcast studio.

So by the time that that is done, we will have a new look, a new feel. We will have some new, uh, furniture. We have a new wall and a new backdrop. It is, honestly, I'm so excited for this new studio, but I received an email earlier this week and. I've been sitting with it for a couple of days, and I really want to talk to you about it because I think the underlying tone in the email is such an important.

Topic to be discussing. And so I thought that I would bring it to the podcast today. So like I said, this is a bonus episode. We'll get into so many more things about what's going on, where I've been, and what you can expect for the Coffees and Content Podcast moving forward. But for now, let's dive into the episode.

So, as I said, today is a bonus episode. Why? Well, because I feel like having a chat, I feel like talking through some things that have been going on and starting some new conversations because the podcast took a little bit of a pause. I feel I, I know I don't owe anybody an explanation or an apology, but I feel like I just wanna say hi again and thank you for your patience.

I guess that's what I wanna say. I. Full transparency. I've tried to start this podcast about three times now, and I've never known what to say because I don't owe anybody an apology, and I'm learning that because I'm, I'm very much deep down a people pleaser, and so I feel the need to apologize for a lot of things, but.

I just want to say thank you for your patience and thank you for bearing with me because I am very, very aware that the end of season three was quite an abrupt halt and I wasn't intending on pausing the podcast. I wasn't planning on stopping what we were doing. I just, if I'm gonna be really honest with everybody.

I lost all momentum and I feel like I lost my way a bit with the original mission and vision of this podcast, and I got really busy. The social collective as an agency really took off, which is why I am very proud to announce that the Social Collective is the headlining sponsor of this podcast, and that's something I'm very proud of, is that we as an agency.

Have made the commitment to invest in this podcast to be able to support so many business owners, up and coming entrepreneurs, basically anybody that wants to learn about marketing, and I have such a clear vision on what I want to achieve in this next coming season. I'm really, really excited for you all to hear the episodes and to see the content that we have planned for social media and everything that we are doing.

But I wanted to start off by, I guess, yeah, mentioning the fact that it wasn't a planned pause. Um, there was a combination of a lot of things, and I'm gonna touch on some of it in today's episode. I guess I feel. Like this space for me is changing and it came off the back of a conversation with. An incredible podcaster.

Um, her name is Ariel. She runs a podcast called Process, the Podcast, and when I was over in Australia, I moderated a panel, two panels, actually a couple of weeks ago at a conference called The Social Summit. Uh, shout out to Amy Dickinson, who you guys will have seen from this podcast. She is the founder of the conference.

Um, one of the podcasts that I. One of the panels that I moderated was a panel called the Podcast Playbook, and Ariel was on this panel, and afterwards we got chatting about our podcasts and the weird, strange feelings about being so open and honest and raw with a community that you don't even recognize exists, and you don't even realize how many people listen to your podcast and how many people.

Enjoy what you have to say and really enjoy and appreciate hearing all the things that you have to share. And at the same time, there is a, we come from, I guess, two different perspectives where she finds it so easy to be so vulnerable and raw and authentic, and share journeys and places that she's been going in her business and things that she's been doing and achieving, and all of the behind the scenes of it.

And I find it really difficult. Um, the first few seasons of this podcast have been very factual, very structured, very, this is how you do things. And not that I have any intentions to change that, because I definitely don't, but I do think that there is a component of. Additional authenticity that I could add by sharing a little bit more, not too much, but a little bit more about the behind the scenes of what it really takes to run a business.

Um, for those of you who have seen the content that I've been sharing on social media lately, the social collective is now, I'm very proud. We are now a team of eight. There are three of us full-time in the business myself, uh, and then I have two incredible staff members that work in the office with me, and they're both full-time.

We have a senior account manager. And we also have a social media coordinator, and then we have five other incredible team members at the moment that are around the country , but the team is growing and it's incredible and.

That's something that I haven't really shared much of because, um, well, I guess to give you context as to who those five people are, we have my incredible assistant, , we have two graphic designers now. We have our ads manager, and then we also have another social media manager who, helps out with some of our clients.

So. We have a big team and there's a lot on my shoulders. And for a long time I've been operating, , with a very remote team. And I got to the point where I decided that I really wanted to have this team in-house. I was finding it. Quite difficult behind the scenes to strategize and brainstorm and manage and organize all of the bits and pieces on my own whilst having an incredible team that is across the country.

And while I love the fact that we have staff all across ua, and I'm very, very proud that we have an entirely New Zealand based team, it was becoming tricky to manage everything on my own and a little bit lonely in some sense. We, the team and I, all eight of us, we chat across, uh, our communication platforms.

We use Slack a lot. We chat through Slack every single day, and a lot of it is pretty much consistently throughout the entire day. But it's not the same as having people in-house. And so on top of managing the growth of the business, managing all of my team that are across the country, keeping everything in line, welcoming new clients on board.

So there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes in business that I, if I'm gonna be completely honest, I haven't felt comfortable sharing and I haven't wanted to share because I've been worried about what other people think or comparing myself to others.

And then it wasn't until I had that conversation with Ariel about how she finds it really incredible for community building to be so honest with her community. And then I think also an email that I received earlier this week really solidified a few things for me and one of them being the vulnerability that I want to have in this podcast and share.

As you all know, all of the lessons and all of the. Tips, tricks, everything that I have to share, and I say this to all of our clients as well. I do not teach anything. I have not practiced myself, so everything has been tried and tested in-house, but I think what I haven't been sharing much of is the impact that that has on me personally, on the business, on finances, on structure, everything like that.

And so I received this email. Earlier this week, which is essentially what I have structured this bonus episode around. And it was someone who was saying to me, I'm just completely in awe of your business and you are doing absolutely incredible. And they were really praising me up for the way that, and I've received a few messages about this in the last week, praising me up for the rapid growth that the social collective has had, which it absolutely has had some rapid growth.

It's insane. We are three times the size that we were. This time last year, which blows my mind. But there was a part of it in this email where this particular incredible business woman, and if you are listening to this, know that I am so in awe of what you are doing because you are paving the way for something that the world so very much needs.

And I give you mad props for, I know that you've been going through some tough times with your business at the moment. I love the fact that you've been sharing it with your community because that's of course how I know. And I also really wanna praise you for the honesty in your email because I really appreciated it.

And like I said, of course it's inspired this episode, but the tail end of that, uh, compliment in the email also said, and if I'm gonna be honest, I find myself feeling quite jealous. And the first thought that I thought when I read that email was, why on earth would anybody be jealous? Of the situation that I'm in, which sounds super entitled.

And then I had to take a moment, to step out of all of the things I know and all of the things I am feeling and I have experienced through running my business over this last year. And I had to look at what goes out publicly and again, this is exactly where I want this episode to land today with.

Talking about how social media is so fake. Social media is an incredible tool and an incredible platform. Do not get me wrong, but it can also be incredibly fake. And I find myself in the exact same position time and time again as this woman finds herself with me. And this email I think just brought everything to light, especially with all the changes and the adjustments and, and the new ways that I've been doing a lot of things over these last few months.

And I think a lot of the internal work that I've been doing as well, which I can talk more about shortly, it's an interesting space to be in because we of course wanna put our best foot forward, but at the same time with social media. There's a lot that doesn't get shared. There's a lot of truth that is left out of the final message that makes the cut.

There is only so much that we can put in a 60 to 92nd reel. There's only so much someone could say in a 10 or 20 minute long TikTok video. There's also only so much someone can say on a podcast as well, and there's a lot that gets left on the cutting room floor. And I think it's really important to acknowledge that there's a lot of people out there that do share their truths and mad credit to anyone who is doing that because I don't quite have the courage to share so many more things.

And also for a lot of legal reasons and business reasons and and things like that. There's a lot of stuff that we can't share or we don't share or we don't want to share, but at the same time. I think it's really important to remember not to compare yourself to other people, and again, easier said than done.

I'm, I'm aware because I'm, I'm in that boat too from time to time, but I think it's really important and moments where you are finding yourself, comparing yourself to others is really asking yourself, what exactly is it that I'm comparing and how can I create that feeling for myself? Because what I've come to recognize is that it's not because we want what they have.

A lot of the time, I think it's because we want to feel the way they feel or the, we want to feel the way they project that they're feeling. And I think that's a really important thing to notice because a lot of life that gets posted on Instagram or things that we read in people's emails when they're sending out their successes or their promoting big offers is everything can look incredibly glamorous.

That doesn't always mean that it's. Roses and sunshines behind the scenes. And I'm not saying that everybody is going through crap behind the scenes, but there's so many things that we don't see, like with business, we don't look at the failed launches. We don't see the failed launches. We don't see, I was reading a post on Instagram this morning and it was another podcaster and she was talking about how people don't see the legal battles.

People don't see the struggles that she's been through. People don't see the clients that have left her business. On a dime. They don't see all of the struggles that she's gone through behind the scenes, and I think it's such an important conversation to bring to the table. And I feel very lucky that I have this platform that for some reason, that my mind still can't quite comprehend, has continued to reach the top of the charts in the New Zealand marketing podcasts, even while I've taken time off, which I feel again, incredibly grateful for, but I feel now.

A certain sense of responsibility to bring these kinds of conversations to the table, because I think what's more important is having a business that you are proud of, having a life that feels really authentic to you not doing things because you feel like you should, or you feel like others have told you to, or you feel like it's what?

People are expecting of you, because I'll tell you, I have tried to morph myself so many times into things that I have realized I don't want to be or don't like being, and I get the most joy out of running my business when I am being my most authentic self. I, one experience that I had recently was, uh, a, a business, well, a boss of mine years and years and years ago, back in my corporate days was.

This in my mind, like an international jet setter. She would travel everywhere. She was literally never home. She spent most of her time in the sky in planes, was traveling. I worked for this, uh, a, an incredible global brand, and I, to this day, still absolutely loved their products. And I think the brand is incredible.

And all the people that I worked with were really fantastic. But I looked at my boss and I said to myself, I wanna be like her one day. And what it, I guess, kind of lent itself towards the beginning of having to back away from doing this podcast was. I turned my life into what she had. I had all of the opportunities to travel both nationally and internationally.

I was, I'd done trips to, for those of you who are in New Zealand, I'd been to Dunedin, I'd been to New Plymouth, I'd been to Christchurch, I'd been to Wellington, to Hamilton, to Taronga, back to Auckland, then over to Sydney, and I have a Melbourne trip coming up. I had some incredible business opportunities all around the place, and I found myself sitting in these hotel rooms at the end of the day thinking I'm exhausted, and I caught myself in the mirror one day and I've put a post up on Instagram about this.

I looked in the mirror, I kind of got a bit of a fright, and I saw this woman that looked like me. But the reflection that I saw was my old boss. And I realized in that moment I had everything that I had wanted in business. And I was miserable. I was really exhausted. I was completely adrenally fatigued. I ended up going to the doctors, uh, which is partially why I stopped podcasting because I didn't wanna put my face on camera.

I had an entire rash. All over my neck, my face, my shoulders, my chest, everything was completely covered in a rash because I had more than burnt myself out and I believe, and to each their own. I really believe this was my body's way of saying, Hey, we've told you to slow down. We have told you to stop. You are not stopping.

So what we are gonna do is give you something that you notice every single morning when you wake up. It's going to get worse and worse and worse until you do something about it, and that's what happened. It started off very small and it grew and it grew and within a span of about three months, it had covered my entire face.

I had lost all confidence to post on social media. I had lost all confidence to put myself out there. Go to networking events, get out there and see other people. And I pretty much was home bound for a good couple of months and no one had any idea because every single thing I posted on social media to keep my business growing and to keep it expanding and.

To show that, I think I felt like I had a point to prove that just because I was working from home or just because I was sitting at home still doing my work didn't mean that anything was gonna change. And so I didn't want anyone publicly to be aware that things had changed. And I had a couple of comments of people saying, wow, things look incredible.

It looks like you're doing amazing. And I actually said to one person, yeah, I. Have been posting old content from my camera reel for the last four weeks because I haven't felt comfortable taking any pictures of myself, and I haven't felt comfortable posting anything about my situation because I very much wanted to be on the other side of it before I talked about it.

And I think that's such an important thing to acknowledge is we push ourselves to keep up with what we think is the life that we want. But if we are really turning inwards, and if I'd turned inwards earlier and asked myself, what is it that I actually want? I still want to be able to travel internationally.

I still want to be able to do my podcast. I still want to be able to run and grow my agency and be there for my team. But at the core of it, if I'm not being honest with myself about where I am and what I need, how am I supposed to show up for anybody else? And I think social media is. Becoming this incredible space where we can connect with the entire world.

But at the same time, it is also this beast that is encouraging us to overconsume so many people's, so like, so much content. More than we are supposed to, more than our little teeny tiny brains are meant to consume. We are not supposed to be this overly exposed to other people's lives, and we are not supposed to be seeing what happens inside other people's houses.

Like, my goodness, I think back to the days when I was a kid and that didn't exist. You didn't have cell phones, you didn't have, I mean, unless you put like cameras in somebody's house, you didn't know what went on in their homes. And so I think we have tried so hard to project lives that we think we want and that we want to be seen having.

And we've lost a little bit of our way of what makes me happy and what makes me really love to show up for myself and for my business every single day. And for me, that looks like sitting in my country home. I have cows down the road. Sheeps and chickens and so many dogs, which is great. I love having a slower pace life and I love running my business at the same time.

It's this weird, they are polar opposites. The business is go, go, go, go, go. And my home life is slow and I really love that and I will talk more about this in this upcoming season. But I really wanted to, just before I wrap up this episode, talk about the importance of having an omnichannel strategy and why that was ultimately the thing that kept my business running.

Even when I had to take a step back and when I look at where the leads came in over that time, when I needed to take a step back, it was my email marketing. It was posts that I put up in a Facebook group past and present. It was leads coming in off of old podcast episodes. It was conversations that I'd had with people months ago, and they'd still followed my journey reaching out to me and sending me a DM or an email, and I think that's what I have taken away from this.

Whole last couple of months is the importance of continuing to put out work that really speaks to your level of expertise. This podcast has done me wonders. It has now not only helped me grow my agency, it has helped me be able to share the marketing tips and tricks that I always wanted to be easily accessible when I was growing my business or I was figuring my way.

To where we are today, and it is now. I've been very lucky and I've been able to speak on international stages and be on multiple different podcasts talking about this kind of stuff. I write a a monthly column for NZ business on their website, and it gets posted every single month to share my thoughts and my expertise with other business owners.

And so it's done wonders, but at the same time, I'm also not reliant on one singular platform. To grow my business, and that's where I very much realized that my message and my learnings and my passion is gonna come through so much more in this next season of the podcast. Because I think from everything I've learned over these last few months, I'm so incredibly proud of all the systems and processes and.

The omnichannel marketing strategy that we have at the social collective, because like I said, if I didn't have that in place and I relied solely on one singular platform, such as this podcast or such as my Instagram channel or my personal LinkedIn page, if I relied solely on one particular channel and I needed to take a step back, I think things would've crumbled.

And I think that's where. It's really important to know what platforms you want to be on, but it's also really important to dial in on the ones that you know are going to help you in the long run. And we at the social collective are really focusing on developing our strategic signature marketing framework, which encompasses all of that.

And it's all around focusing on the channels that you know are really important. And it's also around. Making sure that you are able to stay present even when things change. If you need to take time off, if things change in your business, if you onboard new staff members and you need to support them more than you can support bringing in tons of new leads, but at the same time, you don't want that to dry up because then when that team member is onboarded you of course need work for them to do.

So there's so many components to it, and I'm really, really excited for what's coming up in this season. But I think to wrap up this episode, I want to really remind you that lots of things happen. Life happens, life changes, everything keeps going. And just know that you have every right to show up for your business.

In whatever way you would like to, whether you think that is mainstream popular and for those of you, 'cause you can't see the audio, I'm putting that in air quotes because whatever is trending or popular, you do not need to be following any trends. I think the businesses that are really going to succeed, especially in this age of AI and everything growing and evolving with marketing, I think the business owners that are really authentic, who show up, knowing their vision, knowing their passion, knowing why you got into this space in the first place, if I ever forget what I'm trying to achieve, I always come back to that.

Why am I here? Why did I start the social collective? Why did I start the Coffees and Content podcast? And that will always anchor me back into my main mission and vision. And when you have that, that is your superpower. And so allow yourself to lean into your marketing strategy. Allow yourself to show up in a way that feels most authentic for you.

Stop worrying about what other people think. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Be patient and give yourself grace because. I know what it's like to grow a business as a solo business owner. And this stuff is hard, man. It is not easy. So be patient with yourself. You are doing incredible things. And to the woman that sent me that email that is inspired this episode, I wanna say thank you and to remember that just because other people don't necessarily share all of the.

The downs in their business or the things that they are struggling with doesn't mean that it's not there. Doesn't mean that I don't see you or we don't see you, and just know that you've got this, and I'm really, really proud of every single one of you that's listening to this episode. So thank you so much for tuning into this slightly random bonus episode today.

I. Felt like I really just wanted to have a bit of a, a bit of a Kiki with you all and, and just talk through some things that have been on my mind lately and I'm really excited for, like I said, this upcoming season. I think it's gonna be absolutely freaking epic. We've got so many cool things. There's so much planned.

I'm working on doing some actual in person events. For you guys to be able to come to. So stay tuned. Make sure you're following the Coffees and Content Podcast on Instagram. It is at Coffees and Content Pod. There is also a channel called Daily Shot, which I am so pumped to now have. And inside that channel, what you'll find is daily updates on social media and tips and tricks and all of the things that I have to share, plus a little bit more about the behind the scenes of what I do on a daily.

Basis. So tune in there Monday through Friday. I'm gonna be dropping in a little update every single day, so make sure you don't miss that, but I will be back very shortly, season four coming soon, I promise this one will be back for good. And that's all. I'll see you guys later. Bye.